Dear Diary,
I love rules. All my life I have been a rule follower and that’s done nothing but help guide me safely through life. Many people see me as a square because of this, but I just see myself as smart.
My love and respect for the rules started early, in my childhood. Occasionally would slip up and break a rule that I thought was arbitrary and useless, but then I would get punished and I sure learned my lesson. The first time I can really remember this happening was when I trooped up our long windy driveway to sell lemonade on the roadside. I didn’t really think I would get kidnapped, after all kids in tv did it all the time. But no, according to my parents my hometown was filled with kidnappers and pedophiles so I was promptly grounded and couldn’t leave our yard for two days.
Since that minor slip up I haven’t done much rule breaking. I’m an avid wearer of my seat belt (especially in cabs) and always look both ways before crossing the street. Listed below are a few of my favorite rules:
My favorite rule #1: No alcohol consumption until the age of 21. I am proud to say that I did not drink alcohol until I was of age (now’s a completely different story). Growing up none of my friends drank because we knew all the kids who did drink and they were stupid and drunk assholes. So why would I want to be like them? Personally if it were up to me I’d make it so you had to pass a “drunk” test that evaluated how one conducted themselves when under the influence before consuming alcohol. But since that’s too complex I guess age is the second best system.
My favorite rule #2: Wear a bra. Let’s be honest, boobs in a bra just look prettier. No one wants to see a pair of jugs flopping around unsupported. A bra lifts and separates, making the breasts look healthy and perky. Even if you are a size A a bra is still necessary… especially in the winter.
My favorite rule #3: No running next to a swimming pool. Those are slippery surfaces and the last thing I want to have to do is dive into bloody water to save a dumbass who slipped and hit their head. That’s just gross and you could get the hiv that way.
One of my big pet peeves is when people say, “rules are meant to be broken.” So then is it okay to drink and drive or murder people? I don’t think so! Rules are not meant to be broken, they are meant to keep us safe and function as a society.
Occasionally I’m okay with breaking the rules as long as there are rules to breaking the rules. Such as driving over the speed limit, no more than 10 mph over. Living in New York has caused me to reevaluate my views on certain rules. There are some rules in New York that you just have to break, its a part of society. Such as jay walking: the New York rule is “if there are no cars coming you can walk.” Overall rule breaking is complex and can be dangerous so a good rule of thumb is to just follow the rules.
Lets not forget about the most important rule, The Golden Rule. “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.” If everyone followed that life would be smooth sailing and drama free. Then again… where’s the fun in that?
Hugs and kisses till next time!
Dear Diary 