Dear Diary,
As you may or may not know, I am a procrastinator. Personally I find this surprising because, deep down at my core, I am a major planner. I like to plan out every detail of an event before it occurs. If I’m driving somewhere I’ve never been before I plan out the exact route and an alternate route just in case Google Maps is behind the times.
So how can a planner, like myself, be a procrastinator? The answer is, I plan my procrastinating. I intentionally put off for tomorrow what I can do today. Take for example, right now. I am currently procrastinating while writing a blog about procrastinating. I have a school project to complete, it’s almost done, but I can’t bring myself to finish it because I still have the rest of the night to work on it. It’s too early for me to be done with it.
Even though I understood how I procrastinate I was puzzled as to why I do it, then it hit me. By putting off my tasks I am avoiding my biggest fear: BOREDOM. I can’t possibly be bored if I have something else I should be doing. Anytime I think to myself, “I’m bored” I hear my mother’s voice in my head, “Only boring people are bored.” Even though, logically, I know boredom does not mean I’m boring, it just means I’m feeling too lazy to stir up some trouble, it still frightens me.
I may be an expert procrastinator, but I still tend to find myself in a pickle from time to time. I flub up somehow and am left scrambling at the last-minute. I do this often enough that I am even dreaming about it. The other night I had a dream I was throwing a party for my friends because aliens were going to come and visit me. I had grand plans for these aliens and I thought I was doing fine on time so I went and goofed off with my buddies. The next I knew my cooking wasn’t done and I ran out of time so I couldn’t curl my hair for the aliens.
I believe that people can change… but only if they really want to change. Apparently I don’t want to change because I’m sitting here writing this blog. Then again perhaps procrastinating is my way to keep my life exciting. After all, every great action movie has a ticking clock.
Hugs and kisses till next time!
Dear Diary 