The Looming 28

Dear Diary,

This week I will be turning 28 and I’m a little intimidated by 28.  It’s not that I’m getting closer to 30 (that was last year’s issue) but the intimidation is because 28 has to be a good year because 28 is my lucky number.

I can’t exactly explain why I chose 28 as my lucky number, I believe lucky numbers choose you.  I’ve known that 28 was it for me since the 7^th grade.  You see the 7^th grade was when I had my first major crush, Joey Cora of the Seattle Mariners, #28.  Not only did I know immediately that Joey Cora and I were to be married but that from here on out 28 would be my lucky number.

To tell you the truth I have no evidence that 28 is really my lucky number because I’m not a lucky person.  That doesn’t mean I am unlucky, I am just void of luck.  But I’ve always known it deep down that 28 meant something to me and would be meaningful number in my life.

So now, here I am on the precipice of turning 28 and filled with fear.  What if 28 is a year like any other year, or even worse, what if 28 is just like 27?  Ever since the 7^th grade I’ve felt that something would happen to me when I turned 28, I would have it all figured out and might finally become an adult.  Right now at 27 I am far from that goal, I live with my parents, have no job, and am spending my days glued to my computer.  I feel as though I will never be an adult and never have it all figured out.

Then again do I really want to have it all figured out?  Does anyone really have it figured out?  Also if I figure it all out then life ceases to become interesting.  So maybe 28 can be a magical year by allowing some mystery to remain in my life.  Maybe the most amazing thing 28 can do for me is to be just like all the other years.

Hugs and kisses till next time!

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Soggy Relationship Blues

Dear Diary,

Have you ever dated someone and broken up with them and years later when reflecting on that relationship wondered why you broke up with them in the first place?  Then one day, because you’re feeling a little lonely give that person a call and they pick up.  You end up hanging out with them and think you may have been crazy for breaking up with them in the first place.  That’s when  they do something awful and you are reminded you made the right choice the first time.  Has that ever happened to you?

Personally this has never happened to me with an actual person, but this is how I am feeling in my current relationship with Seattle.  We’ve been hanging out (I say “hanging out” because we’re not very serious, I’m actually living in a suburb of Seattle) for a few months now.  At first everything was wonderful, Seattle was beautiful and sunny and green.  I was able to enjoy the city the same way I enjoyed New York, with Sunday Fundays, walks in the park, and exploring dive bars.

Lately though, it hasn’t been the same.  It’s as if Seattle has grow too comfortable with me and stopped courting me.  Now he is constantly grumpy and angry and as a result I have grown constantly grumpy and angry.  For almost four weeks now it has done nothing by rain and it’s the second week of June.  This is a little excessive even for Seattle standards!  I did not sign up for this when I moved here.  Yes, it does rain in Seattle, but the constant rain is just a myth we tell people to keep the population down.

Since the weather has been so cold for so long I’ve lost track of the time of year.  Several times I would be getting ready in the morning, putting on my cozy sweater and socks, and think to myself, “Oh yay, Christmas is almost here!  I can’t wait for Rudolf!”  Then it would occur to me that it is June and I still have 6 months until I can break out the mistletoe.

I understand that we all go through tough times of depression but I don’t know how much longer I can deal with Seattle’s mood swings.  Once or twice we would have a beautiful afternoon and I would think, “Oh I guess spring has arrived.”  Then a few hours later it would be pouring rain…

I now catch myself day dreaming of wearing sundresses and perched on a hill in Central Park  wondering if I made the right choice in breaking up with New York.  I long for its hot sticky days and warm nights, but if I had that would I be happy?  Perhaps I would find myself longing for the soggy side of the fence.

Hugs and Kisses Till Next Time!

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